It is ironic that I wrote my last post and now this one is pretty much opposite. I have felt off all day. I've been going through the motions of studying and doing my stupid flash cards for the midterms that I have next week. I just haven't felt right.
I was watching Grey's Anatomy, seeing poor Merideth realize life sucks, when I realized that I was having an off day because I am depressed today. My blog is my way of opening, so no reason to hide the fact that I once again am on medication. It generally works very well, but today it isn't.
I have quite the mixture of issues and they all seem to come to the surface at once. I am grateful that Travis tries to understand and put up with me, but I think I was trying to hide it from him by hiding it from myself. I try so hard to make life happy for us and sometimes it just seems so impossible.
Most days I'm really good at feeling blessed because of all that I do have, but some days, such as today, make it really hard to look past all the bad.
I wish I had an actually childhood with ignorance and silliness. I wish I had more time of enjoying the simplicity of youth. I look back at myself even 3 or 4 years ago and I thought I knew everything. I thought I was ready for life to begin. I might have been ready, but I wish had just sat back and enjoyed it a little more. Wisdom is knowing that you know nothing. I must be the most wise person every, because I feel helpless in my ignorance. I know so little of what there is, but I know way too much at the same time.
About Me
- Torie Lynn
- My name is Torie and I am 20 years old. I am a nutrition student at BYU. I am a fluctuating vegan, which means I occasionally will use some butter spray on my toast, or potato. I don't drink milk, eat cheese, or any animal meat. I believe that food should be pleasurable, nutritious, and satisfying. My goal is to create a series of staple foods that are delicious and promote a healthful relationship with food.
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1 comments:
Torie, what helps me when I am feeling down or depressed about current situations is to keep an eye on the eternal perspective. This life is so short, and it is easy to get caught up in what we haven't yet done or wished we would do, but if we remember that this life is just a mere fraction of what our eternity lies ahead, we just need to enjoy each day, and do the best we can, and remember we are not perfect. Set goals to try a little harder tomorrow, but remember, that this life is about having joy, doing the things that really bring you joy, and the knowledge that when this life ends, it is only the beginning to ETERNITY - a joy we cannot even comprehend!!!
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