Where did little Torie Lynn go wrong? I had straight A's in grade school. I dropped out of HS because I was scared of getting a geometry grade less than 100. Then, I started at NYOS and learned the almighty pain of not being the smartest. It was painful. I was the girl who was .001 percent away from having the top grade in middle school. I graduated a year early. I started junior college the month I turned 16. But, here I am at the very university that I dreamed of going to when I was just a toddler, studying the very subject I dreamt of studying and I feel like a failure.
No matter how hard I study I just can't test well in chem. I have A's in all my other classes, but in chemistry I have done abysmally the last 2 exams; worse than I have ever imagined myself getting.
Is it depression? Is it stress? I have no clue, but its eating me up. It doesn't matter that the average test grade was a 55. It doesn't matter that the highest grade was an 85. I expect more of myself and its hard to realize that I have no control over it.
Back to reality of nutrition, today I left campus during devotional and went to Walmart and then to Zuppa's. Yes, my idea of indulging is eating a salad and piece of WHITE french bread. It was crusty and delicious. No picture, sorry. Guess I'll have to go back soon. It was mixed greens with sesame ginger dressing, tomatoes, olives, red onions, sprouts, croutons, and 2 other things, but I can't remember for the life of me. But it was good whatever they were!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
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2 comments:
Hey Torie, we've all been there at some time or another, what keeps me pushing forward is to know that if it were easy, I wouldn't be growing. If you finally made the college of your dreams and you were able to ace all of your classes with ease, you'd probably be on the wrong path, as our goal down here is to learn and grow. And most often that means we are going to have to fail at things, push harder and harder and be reminded that our strength comes from the Lord in all things. And that he knows what we need to help us grow and become like him, and the important thing is to keep pushing forward and keep the faith in Him and grow. One of my favorite quotes by Pres. Hinckley is "Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds." Gordon B. Hinckley and it is so true. So remember when it feels like hard work, it's because you are weeding a beautiful garden and the results of your labors may not be apparent just yet, but with faith and continuing to work hard, come Spring you will see the fruits of your labors. Love you!
Ditto to what Sheri said... I completely stank at chemistry but did fabulously in all my horticulture classes. I have always figured that Christ is the master chemist, and someday he can teach me all those crazy things I just couldn't understand with my mortal brain. Until then, the only chemistry I get involved in is like...making cookies. ;-) I wonder if there's post-earth BYU......
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